Shit Toddlers Do

Want to know what is absolutely ridiculous? The shit that toddlers do.  Today at the grocery store Sass found a random crumply paper towel jammed in the “car” portion of our cart.  (because obviously my child can’t ride through the store without being in one of those damn cars with road rage and all screaming at fellow shoppers)  Anyways, she found this paper towel (I think it was a paper towel) that I knew nothing about.  Next thing I know she’s all stealthy and oh look there’s something in her mouth.  You got that right, she jammed this disgusting paper towel thing in her mouth.  It probably had frickin listeria or e-coli on it so lets all say a prayer she doesn’t get the runs from it.  But as I tried to remove it she took off down the laundry detergent aisle and then just laid on the ground (see below).  Shit toddlers do is absolutely ridiculous. Can you imagine if grown adults did some of the shit that toddlers do??

1

It’s a FANTASTIC idea to stand in this window sill.

6

Just a little relaxation in this cupboard in the kitchen.

2

Chillin.

5

Perfect ensemble for an outing don’t you think?

3

Oh look a manly scented giant chapstick that smells like Dad’s pits! PERFECT – I’ve been needing one of these.

4

See, absolutely ridiculous.  I look ridiculous.  I also spared everyone and wore clothing unlike my child who runs around butt-ass naked most of the time, because again….Adults would look absolutely ridiculous doing shit that toddlers do.

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