Daylight Saving is Bull.

So let’s talk about Daylight Saving(no ‘s’ just Saving) Time, Obama.  Why the hell do we even do this thing?  Per my research it started in 1916 in Germany? (Do I need to site this? Do you want it APA or MLA style?) I do not feel that I save more daylight now that the time fell back an hour.  I still forget to turn lights off.  I still sleep with my bathroom fan running because I need “noise”.  Let’s get down to the point, Mr. President, Daylight Saving Time is bullshit.  Basically you’ve turned my two year old’s life upside down.

I know it has been a really long time since you heard the tiny pitter patter of little feet come running down your hall.  In case you have some time from your busy schedule (please say it light shhhhhhedule) I would like to refresh your memory on what it is like to “daylight save” with a toddler.  6am ( yesterday it was 7am) “Mommmeeee up. UP UP UP UP UP UP)… all the while I am trying to collect my surroundings, remove my sleep mask (yes I am a douchenug who sleeps in one of those…sorry for saying douche Mr. Pres…can I call you Mr. Pres? Thanks.) Remove my bite guard and retainer (I grind my teeth, don’t you stress grind?) and make it to the bathroom all before becoming accosted by my two year old who NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS to watch “Dickeyyyyyyy(Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) mommeeeeeeeee”.

Mr. Pres, the day proceeds normally, just everything is an hour early. I think it should be appropriate  to negate naptime because she will “adjust” to the time change better if we just don’t nap that day and she will go to bed “around” normal time but an hour earlier.  That plan works, aside from the fact that she is a complete and total TERROR.  Do you remember the #tinyterror days, Mr. Pres?

Toddlers destroy.  They throw things.  They chew (at least mine does).  They kick (and fall, toddlers cant kick very well). Toddlers are tiny, little destructors.  They roll around on the ground and scream, yell, shout, because they don’t get their way.  Daylight Saving Time is tenfold from normal toddler-isms.  Mmmmmkkkkkkk Mr. P (can I abbreviate Mr. Pres?) now is nap time.

Can I pass a bill that has a congress member come coax a toddler into nap time? Maybe? Yes… No? To be honest, it has been a while since I watched the “Bill on Capital Hill” episode of School House Rocks, and to be even more honest, I really don’t know much about bills.  That’s my younger sister’s boat.  Speaking of, can you get her a job?  She has a Bachelor’s in Gov and Foreign Affairs, thanks in advance.  Anywhoooooooo.  Toddlers at nap time wriggle, squirm, yell, fake cry.  It is terrible.  Ok, so I put her down in her bed on her own.  No mom.  She destroys again.  She gets her super secret stealthy powers out and shreds books, rips out clothes, tries to drink detangler spray for her hair.  It is messy to put a toddler down for a nap alone.

So, Mr. P.  Again, I would like to propose that we discontinue this nonsense.  Really, we are all just energy hungry fiends. Let’s be real.  I propose Daylight Loss Time.  Which also includes a free beer for all mother’s of toddlers.

Thanks.  Talk soon.  Look forward to the Christmas card featuring the dog again this year.


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