Pumpkin Sharts

So I am over here enjoying a blissful pumpkin spice coffee while the sass naps.  (any pumpkin spice haters back the hell off – I radiate all pumpkin scents during the fall —some good, some not so much, just ask my roomie).  I love my sassy, sass.  So incredibly much, but some days I thoroughly enjoy my peacefully quiet afternoons.

Shortly after I wrote my last post, I was getting dressed after my shower.  Found a half eaten pickle in my unders drawer.  Thanks kid.  So there’s that for the week, but I can’t help but to fall back onto this potty training crap.  Literal CRAP.  (I prefer the word shit, but my mom told me I was cussing too much.)  I suppose I have been since sass is still walkin around droppin “shit” in the perfect context.  Anywhoooo.  Sass spent like 10 minutes trying to drop a load on Wednesday afternoon, she wouldn’t have that prob if she would eat the excess of pumpkin products I consume in a day.  So I ask “did you poop?” “mommmeeeeeee dog POOOOF”…nice try at lying dude, I can smell your little ass.  So I change her tiny buns and there is just a literal shart…just a little, spicy shart (not to be confused with a pumpkin spicy shart)… ALL THAT WORK FOR TEN MINUTES.  While changing her she starts grunting again (I experienced this one too many times when she was a tiny poop bandit and found it on her door once or twice) so I pick her up and rush her to the bathroom.  (I don’t have goggles or an ebola suit on – so there’s no way she is firing that one off at me)  She finished her bizz on the pot and after we washed and dried her hands, I am washing mine….she shouts “UH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” at the top of her lungs.  There we are, just standing in a giant puddle of pee.  How in the hell did you not pee while you were pushin that log out for 15 minutes kid? Come on, seriously.  Now you all will sit here and contemplate whether or not you pee while you pooooo, because heaven knows you cant hold that in.  You’re welcome.

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